Two Recipes

You know, I could maintain a whole blog just on the food we eat at TA37. In particular, I would like to present the dinners we've had yesterday and today:

Saturday Night: Vaguely Irish-Inspired Potatoes and Other Foods
cooked by Jill

1. Potatoes: First skim through four or five online potato recipes. Decide that none of them got it quite right, turn off the computer, and make it up as you go along. Or, alternatively, follow my instructions for making what I made up as I went along: Cut up six or seven potatoes to the thickness of iPod Nanos and put them in a baking dish. Add a chopped onion and as much garlic as is legally permissible. Then top it with parmesan cheese and a few of those Half&Half coffee creamers you've had in the fridge since Freshman Orientation Week because you don't have any real milk in the fridge. Put it in the oven and bake for about half an hour. Give it one halfhearted stir about halfway through if you're feeling bored.

2. Cabbage: Cut up half a head of cabbage and boil it over the stove in an amount of water that I probably should have measured out before I poured, but didn't. Add sugar, a pinch of salt, and white vinegar. For an authentic TA37 experience, take the cabbage off about five minutes before it's done. Mmm, crunchy cabbage.

3. Corn: Husk the corn and boil it on the stove--but NOT the same pot as the cabbage. Otherwise the universe will explode, apparently. Whatever. Anyway, add pinches of sugar and salt. Again, for the authentic TA37 experience, take the corn out of the water before it's done. Oh, and it's best if the corn's been sitting in your fridge for a while before the dinner, too.

4. Chick'n Nuggets: Follow the instructions on the box. Mmm, fake chicken. Fricken.

Serve all this with a bottle of cabaret sauvignon. Only the classy stuff for TA37, of course. And may I say that this was darn good, if I do say so myself. Though you may want to use real milk instead of coffee creamers if you have it.

Sunday Night: Tennessee-Korean Fusion
cooked by Stuart (with assistance from Grace)

1. Fried tofu: slice the tofu into thin rectangles and fry on the stove. Serve with a sauce made of a mix of soy sauce, sesame oil, white vinegar, and sesame seeds.

2. Green Beans (pronounced with the accent on the second syllable): boil the beans in water with salt and pepper. Add some oil. Then, to make it authentically Southern, add more oil.

3. Buttermilk biscuits:Buy the Stop & Shop brand of biscuits. Pop the canister. Put them in the oven. For the authentic TA37 experience, take them out when the bottoms are burnt.

4. Gravy: make it from a package. Tell people it's made of bacon fat and flour stirred in a pot for twenty minutes. Based on how it tastes, this blogger suggests adding a surfeit of black pepper.

5. Rice: make rice.

For the Authentic TA37 Experience^©, eat with chopsticks and be confused about your cultural identity.